Less Glove More Fist

How to rewire your brain for success

October 13, 2022 Coaches Bronson and Natalie Season 1 Episode 6
Less Glove More Fist
How to rewire your brain for success
Show Notes Transcript

What is a Fixed Mindset and how do you know if your thoughts are what's holding you back?

Your perception is your reality. Did you know you can change both? 

In this episode, we talk about the difference between being in a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and how you can shift your thinking to ensure your success.

2:22 This episode is not about health and fitness unless it is
6:10 Progress isn't determined by circumstances
7:44 Why mindset is important
9:40 What is a Fixed Mindset?
12:30 "I can't"
14:43 Are you avoiding self-awareness?
16:05 Everyone has limiting beliefs
18:07 Coach Nat opens up a little bit
23:55 Are you living in a fixed mindset?
27:05 Jealousy and resentment of others
30:15 Where is your focus?
32:04 Restriction mentality is a fixed mindset
33:56 What is a Growth Mindset?
36:00 Fixed mindset in society
39:05 Are you living with a growth mindset
41:20 Challenges vs Obstacles
43:50 That's just how it's done
46:05 Be a dreamer
49:40 Practice doing what growth minded people do
54:20 Why self-talk matters
56:35 Frequency bias is real
1:00:01 Triggers are opportunities
1:04:14 Growth mindset in relationships
1:07:40 Conflict and stress is self-inflicted
1:13:33 Your circle of influence matters more than you know
1:17:23 What are you feeding your mind?

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Coach Natalie:

Welcome to the Left Glove morphist Podcast.

Coach Bronson:

With me, Coach Bronson, and me, Coach Nat, where we peel back the curtains and reveal the truth behind Hot Topics in health and fitness.

Coach Natalie:

This is Keto fit life unfiltered.

Coach Bronson:

What's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Less Glove Morphis podcast. This is Coach Bronson. Hey, I'm Coach Nat, and I just made her giggle before we started because I'm being a dork.

Coach Natalie:

He made me roll my eyes, as he does many times a day.

Coach Bronson:

He says I'm kind of a doofus sometimes. Is that the word?

Coach Natalie:

No, he's goofy.

Coach Bronson:

Goofy? Okay.

Coach Natalie:

No, that's not even the word. What about goober? He's a goober. Yeah.

Coach Bronson:

That's what you all know me as, right? I'm the goober.

Coach Natalie:

You all don't get to see what I get to see the goofy side of him.

Coach Bronson:

So just to give you an example, we're going to completely start without talking about anything health and finish as we usually do. This talk is going to by the way, this talk is going to be very different than the ones you've had so far. It's going to be very important, somewhat different, very impactful. We hope that you guys listen to this, but before we get started, I just want to ask you all a question. Why is blood pronounced blood and not blued? I'm curious if you can let me know that, I would really appreciate it.

Coach Natalie:

This was the question he posed to me at 01:00 A.m..

Coach Bronson:

I need an explanation. It's two o's. Why is it spelled pronounced with a U instead of two O's? I don't understand anywho what we're talking about today, guys. We're going to talk about what is a fixed versus a growth mindset and how it affects your journey, your progress, your lifestyle.

Coach Natalie:

How does this apply to your fitness journey?

Coach Bronson:

You may have heard of fixed mindset, growth mindset in the past, and we're hopefully going to break it down and talk about it in some ways that kind of help apply the concepts help you apply the concepts to your life, your mentality, how you think about things. But before we get into the details of that, we really want to impress that I almost said this video, this podcast. So he's doing videos, YouTubers. This podcast is not about health and fitness, but it has everything to do with your ability to succeed on your health and fitness journey. Because you guys are for to say before, mindset is everything. Your mind controls your mind controls your trajectory and how far and how fast you get there. So do you want to have you have anything to add on? I would just want people to get to really on the surface, this may sound like a topic that no one's going to want to listen to. It's mind work. It's inner work. It's more intellectual and esoteric, but it's really, really, really freaking important that you listen to this episode.

Coach Natalie:

This is the key to everything. I often say it is not. As we hear that diet is 80% of it and fitness is 20%, and to get the body you want, it's 80% your food and 20% your workouts. That is not the case. I often say it is 100% your mindset, because you're not going to stick to a diet, and you're not going to eat the food you need to eat and avoid the foods you need to eat, and you're not going to get your workouts and your training done if your mindset is not in the right place. That is what underlies everything you do, and you can't possibly make progress if your mindset is not in the right place.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

We can address the source of the issue here, and that will propel you forward toward where you're trying to go.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. This is one of the reasons why both Coach Nat and I spent some time this year and got certified as Behavior Change Specialist. Because as we've been through as we've gone through our coaching journey. And the more time we spend helping people have success and figure out what they need to do in their lives. The more we realize that 80% 90% of what we do has nothing to do with a meal plan. An exercise plan. Macros. How to do exercises. And that kind of stuff. Most of what we do every time we get on a call with a client is, what's going on in your head? What are you doing to self sabotage? What are the limiting beliefs you have? What are the ways that you can break old habits and build new habits? All of the things that have to do with the mind.

Coach Natalie:

And the cool thing about it is, a lot of the time I don't even have to explain any of that to my clients. It comes in the way of, what does your life look like? What's going on in your life? Right at the beginning of a client relationship, I typically hear either they're shying away from even sharing anything that doesn't have to do with their workouts and their food, or there's something going on. They may not be saying it, but they're just like, I was under a lot of stress this week, or There was a lot going on, or they may start sharing about something that happened in their life. And then they're like, I'm sorry. And I'm like, no, you don't have to apologize to me. It's all relevant. And a lot of the time they'll start going into a story and say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you about that. Let's focus on and I'm like, no, that's important, because if it happened in your life and it's impacting your ability to do the things we talked about doing in your plan, then it is applicable to what you hired me for.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

It's not that you have to I always say we don't live in a vacuum and it's not like oh when and this is the big key here and this is kind of an intro into our topic. But when you can't make progress because everything's not perfect in your life right now, all the circumstances are not lining up perfectly for you to be able to do all the things perfectly. Every time your schedule is interrupted, somebody upsets you, you have an argument with your spouse, your kid gets sick, something happens at work. Now you're working extra hours anytime something changes in your life. Now all of a sudden everything goes to **** and you can't follow the plan. This is what you get a coach for people. This is what a coach is for. It is not to raw good going, keep doing great things like we are your biggest cheerleaders and we will point out all of the things that you're doing well that you don't see you're doing well. But that is not the purpose of a code.

Coach Bronson:

That's actually an interesting part because we didn't put that in our notes.

Coach Natalie:

No, we didn't.

Coach Bronson:

When we talk about fixed mindset versus growth mindset, there's also an aspect of looking at progress, being able to recognize success versus looking at failures. We got to add that to you.

Coach Natalie:

Add that.

Coach Bronson:

Okay. So that's the importance. That's why we're having this discussion today. And we really just want to make sure you guys understand that this is super important. Super important. Okay. So when we talk about what is a fixed versus a growth mindset, why is it important? Is the first question. So we'll talk about what they are. But first off, understanding that your mindset, much like when we talk about starting your journey, we say what is your why? Why are you doing this? What is the reason? I like to talk about having an emotional connection to that reason so that your emotional connection to why you're doing it can outweigh the emotional connection to the things that used to hold you back, things you used to do, old habits, things like that. If you don't have a good strong why, then your actions are not going to be in line with where you're trying to go. And mindset is very much the same way. Your mindset and your perception on your ability to progress in life is going to determine or you could say color your attitude, your thoughts and your actions. So when we talk about mindset in the fixed versus growth perspective point of view, what we're talking about is do you consider yourself to be a person who has a future or someone who doesn't have a future?

Coach Natalie:

I like how that sounds because if.

Coach Bronson:

You feel like you don't have anywhere to go, then all of your actions are going to be limited and fixed.

Coach Natalie:

That is a really simple way to express that. And I love that you use the term perspective or point of view because essentially that's what a mindset is. A mindset is how you see the world, how you see yourself, how you see everything. It's your perspective, it's your point of view. And exactly as Bronson just explained, it colors how you receive and how you perceive everything in your environment. So should we provide the definition of each, like the textbook definition?

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, let's do that. You want to go fix mindset and read that and I'll do the next one?

Coach Natalie:

Sure, start with fixed. Okay. So as you can imagine, fixed sounds like something that's in one place, in a box.

Coach Bronson:

You can't go anywhere.

Coach Natalie:

So people who believe their intelligence, talents and personalities are fixed traits that cannot grow or change.

Coach Bronson:

That cannot grow or change. So this is a person who is so let's talk about fixed mindset and give a good example of what fixes somebody who is of the belief, their core belief, something that is at the core of how they think is I am where I am, and I can't get any better.

Coach Natalie:

Where I am. Who I am.

Coach Bronson:

I am who I am. This is a big one you're on right now.

Coach Natalie:

Who I am.

Coach Bronson:

This is just who I am. This is just what I do.

Coach Natalie:

I have now stopped three or four.

Coach Bronson:

Clients just in a couple of weeks.

Coach Natalie:

In the midst of their sentence, ask yourself, have you ever said I am an all or nothing person?

Coach Bronson:

Right. Or I'm not a gym person.

Coach Natalie:

I'm a black and white thinker. I'm a black and white person. It's all or nothing. I'm either on my diet or I'm off my diet. That's a big one I've been getting on lately.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. And that's fixed thinking because it's extremes. It's a finite, this is the way.

Coach Natalie:

I am, and it's not worth trying because this is just who I'm going to be. I'm always going to be stuck with.

Coach Bronson:

So there's an assumption that there's change is not possible. And some of the ways that this expresses itself.

Coach Natalie:

Here's another good example. I'm not a morning person.

Coach Bronson:

I'm not a morning person. Yeah.

Coach Natalie:

I have personally said that myself.

Coach Bronson:

I'm not a morning person or I'm a night person. So it doesn't always have to be a not a negative, right? Yes, I get angry. I'm impatient.

Coach Natalie:

I'm an emotional eater.

Coach Bronson:

If it's a positive or negative, when you're making a declaration of a state of being that your mindset around that state of being is that it won't change. Yes, that's what we're talking about, fixed mindset. So you're basically setting yourself up and just saying that you are how you are and that it's not going to change. But some of the ways that this kind of expresses itself in your life when we talk about examples of people that are expressing or showing symptoms or signs of being of a fixed mindset, we look at, we see it all time. Clients fighting for their limitations, arguing for things that they're basically saying well, I have to do it this way because that's just the way I do it. Well, does it have to be avoiding.

Coach Natalie:

Discomfort, pushing back when your coach gives you a workout program or asked to try something or to and you're trying to change a habit or something that's been going on for a long time, resistance. And every statement out of your mouth is, well, I can't do this because this, and I can't do that because this. There's always a reason why you can't. And that's the first place when we're talking about mine, this is the first place your mind goes to all the ways and all the reasons why you can't.

Coach Bronson:

Because here's what we're talking about. You love talking about energy, is if your core belief is that you can't do something, then you will always gravitate towards the reasons why you can't do something. And this shows itself a lot. When I work with clients and I'm talking to them and say, okay, this happened the other day, how do you feel your workouts are going? Are you feeling like you're working hard in your workouts and getting something positive from the exercise? And instead of answering the question, yes, I can work harder, or no, I feel like I'm working as hard as I can, the first response is, well, I need this, my shoulder that I haven't been able to. It's like, that's not the answer. That's not the question I asked. So the mindset around you're deflecting. You're resisting the answer, and you're trying.

Coach Natalie:

To find a reason why avoiding so what you just said avoiding discomfort.

Coach Bronson:

Avoiding discomfort.

Coach Natalie:

That can be emotional discomfort as well as physical.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

So if it causes any kind of emotional reaction, it's avoid it.

Coach Bronson:

Okay, so there's so many segues here. The avoidance of emotional reaction often leads to eating improper coping mechanisms. Because now we're not facing the issue. And you talk about this before, right?

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my God.

Coach Bronson:

Where binging and going off plan can be a result of you don't think you can deal with it because you can't change and you can't grow, and there's no sense in facing it, so why not run away from it?

Coach Natalie:

Yep. You don't even know it's there because you've been distracting yourself with food and busyness.

Coach Bronson:

Mindset. People avoid self awareness.

Coach Natalie:

Chill. I got chills.

Coach Bronson:

That's huge, though, to think about. To think about that. If you've heard any of our podcasts or listen to the stuff we talk about, awareness is one of the huge pieces in behavior change and habit change in doing the things and being able to identify the things that need to change. So many of us are not even aware of the things that need to change. If you have a fixed mindset, then not only are you not aware, but you resist the effort to become aware.

Coach Natalie:

Here's a telltale sign that you're doing this. If you find yourself saying, I don't.

Coach Bronson:

Know a lot and just leaving it at that.

Coach Natalie:

If a coach or a friend or someone asks, well, why did you eat that thing? I don't know.

Coach Bronson:

I just did. It just happened. I blacked out.

Coach Natalie:

Yes, I heard that all the time. All the time. I woke up surrounded by rappers. I don't know what happened.

Coach Bronson:

Okay. Wow. Misconceptions. Okay, so what else we got? We talked about limiting beliefs.

Coach Natalie:

Yeah, these are the beliefs. I mean, a simple definition, if you haven't heard the term limiting belief, they are beliefs that limit you. So they are things that and what are beliefs? They're just thoughts. We've thought it's thoughts you think repeatedly over time enough that they become deepseated beliefs within you.

Coach Bronson:

So they basically lead to default actions. Because again, it's good as the mindset. You just don't think, this is how it is, this is how it's been.

Coach Natalie:

And many times you're not present, as we just talked about, not aware, not present to what these beliefs are until you work with a professional who can help bring these out.

Coach Bronson:

Right. And some of these limiting beliefs come from a lot of different places. Some of them can come from your childhood, from your upbringing, everything from events.

Coach Natalie:

And experiences in your life.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. As an adult, just things that you experience in the workplace or with friends, or just anything like things that you've seen repeated. And it's really about your response. When you have the same response or you see similar patterns of emotion or action or whatever, you start believing these are the way things are. And everyone has different experiences, and everyone has different ones. For me, I'm trying to think of what's a limiting belief that I've had in the past. Okay. Limiting belief for me in the past. I'm not a salesperson. I don't like sales. I can be a salesperson, but I don't like sales. It's not something for me. I'll never be good at it. Right. And that's the fixed mindset viewpoint. The limiting belief there is, I don't know how to sell, and it's too complicated for me to learn.

Coach Natalie:

Which is another sign of a fixed mindset is this belief that you cannot learn and overcome.

Coach Bronson:

Correct.

Coach Natalie:

That's the biggest difference between the growth and the fixed mindset. It's not just, this is how I am, that I have this belief, this is how I am, but it's that I couldn't learn to be a different way.

Coach Bronson:

Right.

Coach Natalie:

What? Really? I'm going to open up here a little bit and be a little vulnerable. This is what prompted us to do this topic.

Coach Bronson:

This morning, she came running into the room.

Coach Natalie:

I've got a topic.

Coach Bronson:

I've got a topic.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh. I found myself and I pride myself on the growth mindset, like how I've lived my entire life. And as we get into the growth mindset, you may resonate with that. Like, I have never been a person who believed that there was anything I wasn't capable of doing if I just try hard enough, learn what I need to learn to get it done, I thrive on that, and I love to conquer new things. It's so much so that it's rare that I stay on the same thing for very long. It's like, okay, well, what's the next mountain? I can scale. What's the next thing? So I couldn't believe that these words were coming out of my mouth as I said them, but it was in regards to punctuality, it's always been something I've struggled with. I come from a long line of women on the women's side of my family who are on a different time. Right. It's like if you're oh, my gosh. All my ethnic folks out there. My mom's side of the family is Greek, and my mom has used the term Greek people time. And look, I'm also a member of a black sorority, okay? So I also have a lot of black friends, and we all know that there's a term called color people time. So those of us who can relate.

Coach Bronson:

To that, I'm going to interject. You're also from Georgia, so there's a whole Southern thing.

Coach Natalie:

Okay, let's be careful with that because I'm not from Georgia.

Coach Bronson:

Well, okay. You spent the last X number of years in Georgia.

Coach Natalie:

For those that don't know, I am from Boston, Massachusetts.

Coach Bronson:

She claims Boston.

Coach Natalie:

I was born in Boston, Massachusetts. I have Boston blood running through my vein. I'm still a Patriots fan.

Coach Bronson:

What?

Coach Natalie:

Which Bronton also is go pets. He lived there for many years, but.

Coach Bronson:

He let's ******* go.

Coach Natalie:

But I was Georgia bread, so I am a Georgia girl in that respect. So in that respect, yes. Things can be a little slower in the south. Those of us that know so many factors played in to this. This is what I will call a fatal flaw of mine. It's a character flaw that I have never liked about myself. It is the one thing that if I could just snap my fingers and change it magically, I would. This topic came up the other night because I made Bronson late for an appointment, and we had a bit of a spat over it, and it really poked at something that I don't like about myself. And the fact is, if something rubs you the wrong way, if you're getting triggered, there's probably a reason to look at.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

And I had a lot of resistance to it at first, and then when it was brought to the surface because for those of you going on the retreat with us, you're going to oh, man, it's going to be a real treat.

Coach Bronson:

Communication between partners is not always fun, but it's always rewarding.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh. Really? This relationship has been amazing in ways that both of us have not experienced in past relationships, because we can talk about these things. We can share, and we can express what we need to express about how we are feeling and also what the other person what's going on with the other person. And the coolest thing is being open because you feel safe with that person. And so you know that nothing is being done with malicious intent. So it allows you to receive this kind of feedback in a way that still doesn't feel good let's be real, but actually allows you to open up and grow from it if you do not let the resistance stop you from that. So I spent a good amount of time meditating this morning and reflecting and journaling on it, and that's where this topic came up because I heard myself say the words, I would love to be a punctual person, but it's just not who I am. It's like, as I said the words, I wanted to take them back. Like, it hurt me. But also it was what I'm so.

Coach Bronson:

Glad out of body experience. Like, wait, who was this person who just said that?

Coach Natalie:

Because I would never say that I'm not capable of doing something or changing something or becoming a better version of myself. And that, to me, was the big wake up call. So this is why we said that this topic and this podcast episode may be hard to hear, and we want to do that little preface at the beginning because this is the key to everything.

Coach Bronson:

Everything.

Coach Natalie:

If you continue to have a fixed mindset and close yourself off to opportunities to grow, then you're digging your own grave. As Tony Robbins says, if you're not growing, you're dying. And I truly believe if we are not getting better, I believe that we are here on this Earth to become the best versions of ourselves. That's what our purpose is on this Earth.

Coach Bronson:

Right?

Coach Natalie:

And so if we're not doing that, we're just waiting to die.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, absolutely. And we still have like three or four things. Let's go kind of go into what ways that you can identify if you are living in a fixed mindset. And that's what this is for, guys. We're explaining this so that what we want you to do is to take the information we're saying and apply it to yourself. Okay? Now, here's the dichotomy word of the day, dichotomy of this whole conversation is if you have a fixed mindset, it's going to be difficult for you to take this information and apply it to yourself. So be aware of that and understand that you are going to have resistance to doing this for yourself.

Coach Natalie:

That's how you know.

Coach Bronson:

That's how you know it's something you need to do because you're resisting it.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh. And here's that example I just shared. This is not black and white, as we said, like the people who say I'm an all orthoped person. This is not necessarily sometimes it is. Sometimes you're fit. You are a fit. You have a fixed mindset about everything in life, right? But sometimes what was revealed to me in the last 24 hours is 99% of the time, I have a growth mindset as it relates to most things.

Coach Bronson:

Bingo.

Coach Natalie:

But, wow, that was a wake up call. Here was one area of my life that I had a fixed mindset about. So even if you've been listening to this thing, that's not me. That's not me. I have a growth mindset. I might as well skip this podcast episode. There might be something in your life that you're avoiding dealing with.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

Because you don't believe you can change in that area.

Coach Bronson:

Right? Yeah. And just another example is I know plenty of people, right? They're great at school. They will learn and they will study, and they will do whatever they need to do. They'll go get certifications and training and learn new programs, and they're great at work and all the kind of things. But when it comes to the relationships they have limiting beliefs about what a man and a woman's role is, or what they're looking for in a man or looking for in a woman, or how to communicate, whatever. So it definitely is not a this is not a whole or nothing. They are aspects of our lives. Emotional, physical, work, relationship, nutrition.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh, Coach Bronson, how many clients do you have to say, well, why can I be so great at work and then I'm failing on my diet.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

Or I'm failing on my workout. I'm not doing the workout. I'm not doing the training. I'm not doing what I need to do for my health and fitness, but I do it for work all the time. I do it for my kids all the time.

Coach Bronson:

There's something there.

Coach Natalie:

There's something there.

Coach Bronson:

There's something there. All right, so a couple more things. We want to give you examples of what it's like or things you probably do to kind of indicate, hey, maybe I'm dealing with a fixed mindset. We talked about limiting the lease, jealousy and comparison.

Coach Natalie:

This is a huge one.

Coach Bronson:

Comparison is with the joy. You guys have heard that before. But if you get upset because someone else has something you don't have, there's a difference between using someone else's lifestyle or whatever. The way they look, the way they move, the way they talk, the things they have, the success that they've had, and using that as a motivator, and using that and saying, I would like to be like that sometime, and being upset that someone has that and you don't, that's huge.

Coach Natalie:

You find yourself having a hard time clapping for others.

Coach Bronson:

Yes.

Coach Natalie:

Celebrating other success. Or if you've ever heard yourself say, must be nice.

Coach Bronson:

What did they do to get that?

Coach Natalie:

She has this going for her and that going for her. She's probably 20 years old. She probably doesn't have any kids. She probably XYZ reasons why it was easier for this person, sure. But not me, because that couldn't be me.

Coach Bronson:

It's just harder for me.

Coach Natalie:

It's harder for me. I have this, that, and the other guy.

Coach Bronson:

There it is, there it is, there it is. And that's why we don't compare. That's why you only compare yourself to where you're coming from. Are you better than you were the day before? That kind of thing. So that's one jealousy. If you have a hard time being genuinely happy for someone else's success, there's another one. Looking for quick results.

Coach Natalie:

Being focused on the process and not the end goal.

Coach Bronson:

As in focusing on all of the things you have to do and being overwhelmed or feeling like it's a struggle to get through these things, letting the how get in the way of the why.

Coach Natalie:

Yeah. Because I see it. This actually happened one of two ways. It's either that or the only thing you want is that end goal, and you don't care about learning anything in the process.

Coach Bronson:

That's all. Another one. Yes.

Coach Natalie:

How can I get the app shortcuts? Tell me how to get the ABS. I don't care. I don't want to learn about macros. I don't want to learn about food choices.

Coach Bronson:

Just tell me what tell me what to do. That's a huge one, because we get that all the time. People will do a discovery call. We'll talk to people and they're like, I don't need the coaching. I just need you to tell me what oh, my gosh, right? Because the mindset is the coaching isn't going to help because I'm not going to learn. I'm not going to do it unless you just tell me what I need to do. If you just tell me what I'm going to need to do, then I'll just follow your instructions and I'll be good. But there's no self development in that. There's no growth in that.

Coach Natalie:

No. And you don't understand why you're doing what you're doing, so you're much less likely to keep doing it. You may get excited about at the beginning and do it for a week or two because it's new and it's exciting and you've got this plan, and then two weeks later, you're going to be looking for the next plan.

Coach Bronson:

Right, okay. I think we've covered fixed mindset.

Coach Natalie:

Is that everything?

Coach Bronson:

I think so. We talk about staying in your comfort zone. Yeah, we do the same kind of thing. So just being able to push and failure.

Coach Natalie:

We did say we wanted to add that.

Coach Bronson:

Failure.

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Focusing on failure.

Coach Bronson:

Oh, yeah.

Coach Natalie:

And not the fact that failure is part of the journey and that everyone goes through failure to get to the end result. And thinking, because I didn't do this perfectly this week, sure I failed, so what's the use?

Coach Bronson:

This is the classic weekly check in. You get on a call with a client and it's, this went bad, that went bad. I look like ****. I'm still not seeing progress here. All of the things that are going bad, but. You look at their numbers, you look at their progress pictures, you look at their measurements and you're like, Are you crazy? You're crushing it.

Coach Natalie:

You're not seeing what I'm talking about.

Coach Bronson:

Like, what are you talking about? This looks amazing.

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Everything is a failure because all you see are your failures and you're not seeing any of the progress.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

And then also there's the quitting. If you're a quitter let's be real. If you've quit everything you've ever started and you didn't see it through to.

Coach Bronson:

The end, and that's honestly, guys, that's a common theme for people that yoyo. They're not yoyoing because the plans that they were on weren't working. They're yoyoing because they quit their plans.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

And then they tried another one, and then they quit that one, and then they try another one, then they quit that one. So there's a habit developed because they don't think that they can get better.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

So because they are trying to avoid discomfort, so when things get uncomfortable, they stop. So it's a repeating loop in a cycle that just keeps them stuck where they are. All right. That's fixed mindset. That's kind of depressing. Can we get into the fun stuff?

Coach Natalie:

Yeah.

Coach Bronson:

Although I do have one more thing to add that I forgot about something that I say all the time, and I can't believe I even talked about this. Similar to the focusing on failures versus successes, I talk about fixed mindset when we talk about our health and fitness progress in focusing on restriction versus focusing on abundance and growth. So when we talk about calorie restriction, eat less, work more, cut all these.

Coach Natalie:

Things you can't eat.

Coach Bronson:

Now focus on all these things you can't eat. You get depressed because you miss this or you miss that. Like the focusing on all the aspects of your life that you're changing instead of focusing what you're changing too.

Coach Natalie:

And you know what? Along with that, something you said can't. The language that you use is a huge indicator. If it's I can't, or if you're always focusing on the can't I can't.

Coach Bronson:

Have, I can't do I miss this, I miss that.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

All you're doing is when you talk to yourself. I mean, we have self talk. Let's talk about it then, because I feel like I want to just reiterate that self talk is a way of affirming. Yes, it's an affirmation.

Coach Natalie:

It's a huge way that you can shift from being a person with a fixed mindset to having a growth mindset. So we can talk about that as we talked about strategies.

Coach Bronson:

As long as we don't forget.

Coach Natalie:

Yeah, I know. That's the only thing about not having a live audience. Nobody can remind us. Oh, you were going to talk about that.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. I think we fairly well covered 30 minutes of what a fixed mindset is and how to know if it's something that you're dealing with or living in. Let's talk about living in a growth mindset and what that can look like for you because it's so much better.

Coach Natalie:

To learn oh, my God. Mindset.

Coach Bronson:

So much better. Growth mindset. The definition of a growth mindset. People who have a growth mindset believe that even if they struggle with certain skills, their abilities are not set in stone.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

We're talking emotional skills, emotional state, intellectual time management, physical skills, all of the professional skills, anything.

Coach Natalie:

Education, ability to learn all the things.

Coach Bronson:

The difference there when we talk about the base core belief is everything is an opportunity.

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Oh my gosh.

Coach Bronson:

That's the key difference in the core mindset. So everything you do in life is based off of the idea that everything is an opportunity. Not everything is an obstacle.

Coach Natalie:

A friend of mine just recently mentioned she was rereading a book. I never read this book, but Marie Forleo, I think it was a Marie Forleo book. Everything is figureoutable.

Coach Bronson:

Is that really a word?

Coach Natalie:

I don't know, but she made it a word. She made it a best seller. This, by the way, Marie Forler, if you haven't heard of her, she was like in her early twenties and created like a multi billion dollar business.

Coach Bronson:

Love it.

Coach Natalie:

Talk about someone who and at the time, like, being a 20 something year old life coach wasn't a thing.

Coach Bronson:

Right.

Coach Natalie:

Nowadays we've got plenty of them.

Coach Bronson:

Well, I mean, can you remember back in the day when self help books.

Coach Natalie:

Were considered fringe therapy was faux pas.

Coach Bronson:

Right. It's like when I read when I was in just out of high school. High school. I didn't know when I got started. Maybe in my early 20s, when I started reading, like Zig Ziglar and Less Brown, people look at me like, who the what do you read in that****? What's wrong with you? Do you have problems? Like, it was literally like you're reading a self help.

Coach Natalie:

So that means something is wrong with you, right?

Coach Bronson:

No, I'm just trying to oh my God. Wrap my head around life.

Coach Natalie:

You know what? This is a really great way to identify too generationally things have shifted. Right. If you're a member of gen X or prior to gen X. Really? Baby boomer generation. A fixed mindset was more of a thing. It was a general kind of way of being. It's worrying about just the DayToday aspects of life and not getting into the ethereal, not getting into the self help. It was not okay to go to therapy. If you did go to therapy, nobody's going to know. This whole understanding who you are was a very hippy idea back then.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, because at the time think about the maybe less than 60s. That's probably where things started.

Coach Natalie:

But even sixty s and seventy s was in the hippie realm. It was cool, but still not in the right.

Coach Bronson:

Well, because everything was so structured and planned out for you. You knew what the american dream was go to school, get a degree, get a job, have a family, and retire. Like, everyone knew what we were going to do. That's what you were going to do. And now exactly. The whole concept was fixed. Oh, my I just tickled his brain. Wow. Yes. Okay, so total segue back to fixed concepts. Fixed mindset. Yeah. We're talking about generational societal belief systems that were based in a fixed mentality.

Coach Natalie:

Absolutely.

Coach Bronson:

Versus now with the Internet and technology hierarchy is crazy decentralization and everything else. Now it's all about, wait, anything is ******* possible.

Coach Natalie:

Everything was so formal before the formal education system. You have to learn this way, and if you don't fit, then good luck to you, because you're not going to be successful. Because this is the model. This is the only model that you can rely on for success in life. Get a degree, get a good paying job, worked for a company for your entire career, retire with a pension. Everything had healthcare, school system, it was.

Coach Bronson:

All planned out for you.

Coach Natalie:

Now we're trying to disrupt everything in the world.

Coach Bronson:

Right. It's all about disruption.

Coach Natalie:

Yeah.

Coach Bronson:

I mean, if you look at technology, businesses that have been the most successful have been the most disruptive, which is very true.

Coach Natalie:

And yeah, the ones in their time doing something innovative.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

Or they were doing the same thing, but differently.

Coach Bronson:

Differently. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.

Coach Natalie:

We could go off on that.

Coach Bronson:

Okay. So some of the things when we talk about growth mindset, it's the opposite. In case you haven't figured it out, it's the opposite of fixed mindset. So we are not in a fixed location. We are not in a box. We have the potential to grow, to move, to change and expand. That's what growth mindset means.

Coach Natalie:

Manchin, I love that word.

Coach Bronson:

So some of the ways you can know if you are living in a growth mindset in any given area, because, again, like Matt said, this isn't specific to everything in your life. It can be different areas of your life. So you may be in a growth mindset in one area and a fixed mindset in another at work.

Coach Natalie:

Here's a good example.

Coach Bronson:

Yes.

Coach Natalie:

If you have an opportunity to work on a new project or work with a team or do something outside of your normal realm and you jump at the chance, oh, this is an opportunity for me. I can set myself apart. I may be able to advance in my career by doing this. I've never done this before, but they're willing to try. They're relying on me, and they think that I'm going to be good at this, or my boss is giving me this opportunity. I'm going to rise to the occasion. I have a client right now who's man. Been going through the ringer, learning all these new things at work and traveling.

Coach Bronson:

That's how you grow, man.

Coach Natalie:

It's exciting. It's disrupted her life and her current lifestyle, and she could have turned away from it. I remember many conversations we had about this interview she was going on and how she's one of the more junior people, and so she wasn't sure that they would select her for it. Then she got selected for it. Now she's going through this process, and it's been so cool to be alongside her as she engages in all of that. So if you're the kind of person who turns down promotional opportunities at work or special projects or anything that's out of the realm of let's say that's not in my job description, that's more.

Coach Bronson:

Fixed, or I don't know how to do that, so someone else needs to handle it.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

Instead of, I don't know how to do that. I'd love to learn and let's see what we can get done. You know what I mean?

Coach Natalie:

Absolutely. And you can see how different that is in the workplace. The people who are succeeding are the people who are taking those chances and those risks and trying those things.

Coach Bronson:

So that kind of goes into two things. One, you said willingness to disrupt the status quo right within your life, within someone else's life. And we'll get into that in a second because there's another example that we can give there. But then also the ability to learn and accept challenges. Looking at challenges as challenges, not obstacles. When you look at an obstacle, an obstacle by definition, is something that's in your way and stopping you. A challenge is something that is making you get better in order to get through it. It's overcome a it's overcome of I know there is hope within a challenge. Yeah, we're making up words in this podcast. So that's one aspect of being a growth mindset. The other one, like you said, is disrupting. And here's another example. I'm going out to eat and I want to order some food. And I order some food and it comes back incorrectly. Do I disrupt the waiter in his process and what he's doing? And maybe make him take extra time with me because I'm super special and say, hey, I ordered this without the bread or without the sauce or without the rice or whatever. Could you please take this back and bring it to me the way I ordered?

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Or even having the boldness to order.

Coach Bronson:

It that way in a virtual place.

Coach Natalie:

To ask for what you need or ask what's in the food or that's.

Coach Bronson:

Something that we most common one for us is do you know how much meat is in order?

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Ask me how many ounces of meat or what is it cooked in? Are you using oil? I'm allergic to vegetable oil or whatever, but being and this kind of also goes back to that identity piece and the limiting beliefs. If I don't believe that I deserve my own wellness is valuable and that I don't deserve to be treated a certain way or to receive what I ask for or that I don't deserve to ask for what I need. There's a deserving that goes in there. So there's a belief about yourself and your worthiness and your value as a person. If you were allergic to peanuts, like, you would go into anaphylactic shock, if anything was cooked in peanut oil or had a peanut in the facility, you **** well would ask questions about that. So why do we feel when it comes to carbs or gluten or sugar or vegetable oils, that we somehow don't deserve to ask for what we need?

Coach Bronson:

Something I just thought of.

Coach Natalie:

Go ahead.

Coach Bronson:

In the fixed mindset, we talked about the statement of that's just how I am. That's an owner. That's an individual thing. When it comes to disrupting your own processes and your own habits, that make sense. When we talk about disrupting other people's processes and other people's habits or other people's whatever it is they're doing. The limiting belief there the fixed mindset belief is that's just how they do it. So it's not a you thing, but your fixed mindset is saying they have a process. This is how they do it. It's on the menu. It's on the menu. So that's how I have to order it. Yeah. I don't want to cause them any extra work, but see, that's where I was. On limiting beliefs, there is something about you.

Coach Natalie:

It is something about you.

Coach Bronson:

Well, the statement the statement doesn't always have to be I'm a it can be a or there is a or they have a thing like that, and.

Coach Natalie:

There'S something to dig in there because why are you not willing to challenge the status quo? Why are you not willing to even ask? Because asking a question, there's no harm in that. All they can do is say is no, but believing that you are worth it, that you are worthy of receiving, first of all, you're paying for it. Right. We can do a whole episode just on dining out because that is a service that they are giving you and you deserve to be served well. So a lot of that is people are projecting their own insecurities and limiting beliefs and limiting beliefs right. About themselves and what they're worthy of. And this plays out also with family events, at parties, with friends concerned about what other people are going to think.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, it's so hard to disrupt the family party and say, I'm not going to eat that or my own thing.

Coach Natalie:

So I'm going to make myself physically ill because I have to eat this thing because Grandma would be upset at.

Coach Bronson:

Me if I don't in there seeing people do it, literally.

Coach Natalie:

There's a lot of that.

Coach Bronson:

You can tell Grandma no, guys. Yeah, you can tell Grandma no, you can tell your mom.

Coach Natalie:

Know what?

Coach Bronson:

All right. Other things that people who are growth mind who have a growth mindset do is they dream and they build visions for their future.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, yes.

Coach Bronson:

We talked at the beginning about if you are fixed mindset, you don't feel like you have a future. You feel like you are stuck. And this is where you will be for the rest of your life. When you are a growth mindset, you are never satisfied with the status quo, with where you are. You are always looking for more. One of my favorite growth is part.

Coach Natalie:

Of your life, one of my favorite inspirational speakers. And Milet says he has a term called blissfully dissatisfied.

Coach Bronson:

Yes, love that, love that term.

Coach Natalie:

I'm happy in my life, but I'm always going to be a little dissatisfied. I'm always looking for expansion growth more and more. Not in a bad way, not like just arbitrarily, I need more material things or whatever. But it could be material things. Part of it is if you desire it, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Coach Bronson:

There's a whole nother.

Coach Natalie:

But no, I love the vision thing.

Coach Bronson:

It's okay to want things. This is a limiting belief. This is a limiting belief. A reason why people in fixed mindsets don't have dreams and visions is because they feel guilty for wanting more. It's okay to want more than you have, guys. Whether it's financially, whether it's emotionally, whether it's in your relationship, whether it's your body, what you look like, whatever it is, it's okay to want more. There's nothing wrong with wanting more.

Coach Natalie:

I want to shout that from the rooftop. It is okay. It's okay to want to change your body.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

We don't all have to be fat and happy. That's what the body Positivity movement would have us all believe. We can be fit and happy if that's what we want. Yeah, right. Okay. So the vision thing, the vision thing is really key. One thing I work with clients and I ask them to do early on is to create their vision for where we're going. And a lot of the time, the answers I get to the question of where are we going? What's the future version of you look like? Six months and a year, in five years, ten years from now? It is really difficult for them to connect with that future vision 100%. And what they instead will say is, well, I don't want this. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to feel like this. And I say, okay, all that is very valid. Let's start there. Right? We start from where you are and what you don't like. Then we can build on that. And a really simple here's a little takeaway you can take from this podcast. If you have a hard time connecting with the vision of where you're going, write down all the things you don't want anymore that you're currently feeling. You're disliking about your current reality and then start a fresh sheet of paper. Cross all those out, and as you cross one out, write the opposite of it on the other page because it will force your brain to actually think about well what is the opposite of that? If I'm saying I don't want to feel aches and pains all over my body everyday anymore, how do I even what are the words here we go again. What are the words that would describe what that would feel like?

Coach Bronson:

Right.

Coach Natalie:

A lot of the time it's really difficult to put things in the affirmative when for so long we've been talking in the pessimism, the negative.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. And that is the key. That exercise that coast just explained to you guys is the epitome of demonstrating to yourself the difference between fixed mindset and growth mindset. The transition, that the actual transition of the words focusing on the negative aspect of your life and changing them to a positive aspect of what your future could look like, that is growth mindset. So the more you do that and the more you start talking in that language, the more you will start living and moving and acting in a growth mindset.

Coach Natalie:

And as Bronson said, awareness is the first step.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely.

Coach Natalie:

So first just slow down and start to observe. Observe, observance. I'm combining observe and observe the thoughts in your head. A lot of the time we have no concept of what's swimming around in there all day. So if you can get quiet a lot of us just are so used to just noise all the time. I know for me I love to have a YouTube or a podcast going in the background all the time or music or you know, if you have kids and you work in a place that's noisy it's just there's not a lot of silence in your life. So either doing things individually this is a huge piece, is stopping the multitasking whenever possible and trying to do one task at a time. You will be shocked at how much more you notice you're thinking about. And if you can start to identify those thoughts, you will start to identify the language of yourself talk and that's where you can start this process of wow, what are the things I say to myself all day long and how does that need to change?

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely. Just to run off some of the remaining things we have on what examples of a growth mindset we have because we've talked about them in the opposite on the fixed mindset. So I'll just run through them real quick and that is we talk about dreams and visions. People with a growth mindset have dreams and create visions. They embrace change, they don't avoid the process of change. So understanding that if you want your life to change, there are things in your actions that have to change to make that happen.

Coach Natalie:

And after you have that initial excitement and motivation to start something new, when it starts getting difficult, a growth mindset person doesn't shrink back and quit or change the goal. Or maybe I don't really want that so bad.

Coach Bronson:

Right?

Coach Natalie:

Press on through the difficulty.

Coach Bronson:

Avoid easy. Embrace the suck.

Coach Natalie:

Embrace the suck.

Coach Bronson:

They're willing to experiment and try new things. And the opposite of the jealousy and being unhappy for people's success is they lift not just being happy for other people's success, but actively participate in rejoicing and helping other people celebrate their success.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

So it's not just about, okay, I'm not going to be mad for them, but I'm not going to do anything either. That's kind of ******. But you know what? Hey, so and so did this thing. That's awesome. Did you guys hear this?

Coach Natalie:

I love that.

Coach Bronson:

And get into it with them.

Coach Natalie:

In our communities, it's so amazing when people are in there supporting each other, lifting each other up, helping each other, celebrating, clapping.

Coach Bronson:

Right? I have three things that I think we don't need to get into all of them. We can talk a little bit more about the self talk aspect and then maybe some tips on how to make that transition of if you're identifying with fixed, how do you get into growth? Just to summarize a couple of different things. Fixed mindset versus growth mindset. You see obstacles instead of challenges. Okay, this is summarizing positive versus negative self talk. Well, I guess it would be negative versus positive. We're going fixed to fix the growth. Growth and then restriction versus abundance. I think those are three big areas you can kind of put a lot of things into about the difference between fixed mindset and growth mindset. Now we talk about self talk and the importance of self talk as an affirmation. You love talking about affirmation. So can you explain why self talk is important and what it does when we repeat our constantly saying things either positive or negative, to our actions and how we perceive things?

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh. Words have power, yo. Words really have power. The language that you use is a window into how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself, and that creates everything that creates that will end up showing up in your behaviors. So first and foremost, as I talked about before, it's becoming aware of what the thoughts are. A lot of the time, we have no concept of it. It's there. We don't even realize it. What's so cool as coaches, when we see our client check ins, and this is why I love written check ins. I have written check ins with my clients, and I have face to face zoom meetings. But the written check ins are powerful because as I'm reading the words that a client writes on the page, I can reflect back to them the words that they're using that they may not even notice that they're using, because when I read a check in, it jumps off the page at me. And then I like to point out to the client, notice how you said this, and it might be a negative thing. And then I ask them to, how can we reframe that? Coaching coaches love reframing, and we'll explain what that is in a moment because I think that could be a really powerful self tool to use. And then I will also point out the really great things that I saw them right. The areas in which they are celebrating themselves. And so I like to reflect that back to them so they can see where personal examples of how they are helping themselves move forward with their words. So let's talk about the reframe. Go ahead.

Coach Bronson:

Okay. Hold on to the reframe thought, because there's something popped in my mind as you were talking, and I don't know if you guys have ever heard of I was googling this while she was talking the Beter Minehoff phenomenon.

Coach Natalie:

The what?

Coach Bronson:

Baiter? Minehoff phenomenon. So I'm just giving an example. You ever decide you want to buy a car and you say, hey, I'm really interested in buying a Porsche. And so you start thinking about Porsches, and then over the next 23456 months, you see Porsches everywhere you go.

Coach Natalie:

I always heard that as the reticular activation system.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, there's actually it's a phenomenon or it's also called frequency bias.

Coach Natalie:

Okay?

Coach Bronson:

It's another report, and basically your mind is wired to that thing. So now, even though the number of actual portions have not changed that are out there in the world, right. Your mind is now attuned to that. So you start seeing it more often. Self talk does the same thing for your psyche.

Coach Natalie:

That's so powerful.

Coach Bronson:

If you are negative in your self talk, you will only see that's what and hear negative back.

Coach Natalie:

That's what will be reflected back to you.

Coach Bronson:

This is the concept it's like a magnifying glass. You're magnifying what you're focusing on.

Coach Natalie:

This is the concept of Law of Attraction. If you've heard of The Law of Attraction, where the secret? It's really made the Law of Attraction popular, but it was a thing for a lot longer than way before that movie and that book ever came out. But it's the concept of like attracts like. So the way you think it so it will be all of the great.

Coach Bronson:

If you can think it, you can achieve it.

Coach Natalie:

All the great speakers and a lot of the great writers and so many books have been written on this. But it's exactly that. It gets a negative. It gets a bad rap. This whole thing positive. It's not trying to fool yourself into believing something you don't believe right now. And when I do affirmation work with clients, we get deep because it needs to come from you and it needs to be personal to you, and it needs to be something that is not just spoon fed to you that you're reading back and you don't believe, because your brain will be like, Bullshit. Bullshit. I love myself like just the old stuff we used to hear, like the mirror work. Looking in the mirror and saying about all the things you love about yourself when you don't really love them, that's BS. That's not what we're talking about.

Coach Bronson:

And that's where the way that you have what the words you use in your Affirmations matter because you want to speak truths.

Coach Natalie:

Yes.

Coach Bronson:

And be authentic in what you're saying.

Coach Natalie:

You have to be authentic. Exactly.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. So you're not saying if you don't believe it, don't say it.

Coach Natalie:

That's right. That's right. Really? It's not just getting an Affirmation book and just reciting things, right? Affirmation books, affirmation cards. I have an Affirmation app that I love. The I am app. They're great, but they're not all going to resonate with you. You pick the ones that do resonate with you, and you can meditate and.

Coach Bronson:

Reflect on those, or you could get a few of them, look at a couple of different pages or go through the whole book and write down the ones and make your own combination of the Affirmations that you think are going to help you move forward.

Coach Natalie:

I saved the ones on the app that resonate with me. You can favorite them in the app, or you could just save them directly to your phone. And those are the ones that I tend to share on my social media. The one this morning when I came running in here with this topic, I was like, oh my goodness. As soon as I finished my journal entry, this popped up on my app. I can listen to others'advice, but I am the only one who can tell me how to grow. It was right on time. It's like, ultimately, it's about conditioning your mind, conditioning yourself to being open, to receiving the messages that are around you, no matter what those messages are. Sometimes they're going to be Affirming you, sometimes they're going to be validating you and making you feel great, challenging you. Other times, they're going to challenge you. They're going to cause that discomfort, that pause, that trigger.

Coach Bronson:

That goes right into the last note. Well, you had not your triggers or what?

Coach Natalie:

Opportunities.

Coach Bronson:

Opportunities.

Coach Natalie:

So I like to look at, well, this was something that actually just came out of my reflection today. That is now going to be a mantra for me. My triggers are windows of opportunity for growth. Every time I lean into it, I can go I can open that window and I can go through it to the next level. Every time I let my resistance win and I avoid dealing with that or seeking to overcome it or hiding from it or avoiding it, I'm closing that window of opportunity. And guess what? That situation is likely to come up in my life again. So if you're one of those people who's like, why is this thing always happening to me? There's something there for you to see that is happening over and over again to. Give you an opportunity to grow. The people in our lives are mirrors. The situations and circumstances of our lives are telling us something. So if there's something you don't like about your life, ask yourself, what is there about me that I could change that could change the circumstances of my life?

Coach Bronson:

Oh, that's totally something we didn't talk about. With fixed versus growth, what fixed mindset looks to change others. To change yourself?

Coach Natalie:

Yes. If it's always somebody else's fault.

Coach Bronson:

Oh, my God, how did we miss that?

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my God. That's huge. That's huge. It's somebody else's fault. There's always a blame. There's always an excuse.

Coach Bronson:

There's no responsibility because you can't change. So how could it possibly be you?

Coach Natalie:

Right? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Mind blown.

Coach Bronson:

Wow.

Coach Natalie:

Okay, and here's the thing. At the end of the day, you can't do anything to change anyone else or anything in your life externally.

Coach Bronson:

Right.

Coach Natalie:

If you change you, you would be amazed at how the externals of your life just magically change.

Coach Bronson:

It is absolutely amazing how many people we work with who, when they start making the hard decisions to work on the internal stuff and change the way that they perceive the world. Okay, guys, think about this logical statement here. If you change the way you perceive the world, the world will look differently to you.

Coach Natalie:

OK, I hate you because I literally that was in my head. We live in each other's head. I was about to say that kitschy quote. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, exactly. So if you want to change the world, change the way that you're interacting with it, change the way you're thinking about it, change the things that you do in response to things that happen in the world. It's not the world's fault. The world is. The world is you have to live in the world. The world doesn't have to live for you. So you have to figure out how to make it work.

Coach Natalie:

Wow. Okay. One more note of vulnerability to show you that we are not sitting on our mountaintop and that this is why we're so passionate about these things. What made me pause and really created this opportunity for us to talk about this was when I asked, bronson, okay, in the future, so that I don't make us late, you need to tell me a different time that we're going to leave. You need to tell me 15 minutes or 30 minutes before you want to leave instead of telling me what time you want to leave, because mine doesn't work that way, and I'm just going to end up making a slate. And because he was safe to be vulnerable with me, he shared how that made him feel. That now this is my responsibility. That you're putting this responsibility on me. That this feels like pressure on my shoulders, that I now need to change the way that I express time or being somewhere because of something that it is really not his issue. Right. It wasn't his issue. It was my issue. And I was asking him to change the way he lives his life so that I could fight for my own limitation.

Coach Bronson:

That's it. You're fighting for your own limitation?

Coach Natalie:

Yeah, that's what I said when I was like, oh, my God, I'm fighting for my own limitations. I always say, don't fight for your limitations. That people is what it looks like to fight for your limitations. You need to change so that I can stay the way I am, when really the problem is with me.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah.

Coach Natalie:

And here's the thing. Sometimes the problem is going to be the other person, but you can't do anything about that other than doing what he did in that moment, which was expressing his own feelings, because had he just pointed the finger back at me, it could have become an argument that would have persisted. Instead, he shared how that made him feel, and that opened my eyes up to see, oh, wow, this is not his problem.

Coach Bronson:

Right. And that is because even though the one issue for you was a fixed mindset symptom expression, in general, you are a growth mindset person. So you were able to take that feedback and actually sit with it and think about it and kind of analyze and figure out where that was coming from. So it's cool. So in that one specific area, you had that fixed mindset tendency.

Coach Natalie:

It was a blind spot.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, a blind spot. But because in general, you're a growth mindset person, then you were able to take that feedback. If you had been a fixed mindset person, even me expressing my emotions. Your initial response yeah. Your initial response would have been, what am I supposed to do about that?

Coach Natalie:

Right.

Coach Bronson:

Oh, my gosh, you're right. Okay, this is what we need to do. Sorry. You would have fought harder for that limitation.

Coach Natalie:

Yes. The resistance would have just gotten stronger and stronger. So that's a really good point. And this just brings home why it's so valuable to do this work. Because if you notice that you are fixed in your mindset when it comes to most things, that is something that is a major hurdle that's holding you back in many areas of your life that you may not even notice.

Coach Bronson:

If you want your life to be filled with less conflict, then you need to do this work.

Coach Natalie:

Wow. Yes.

Coach Bronson:

90%, if not all conflict. I hesitate to even put a percentage on it because in most cases, people have conflict in their lives because they are acting out a limiting belief or a symptom or expression of fixed mindset. That is not the way life actually works. It's not reality.

Coach Natalie:

We talk about this a lot, that we are now in a culture of everyone needs to walk on eggshells so that they don't trigger me.

Coach Bronson:

Are we really going to go here? Are we really going to go down this road?

Coach Natalie:

It's so apropos of what we're talking about here.

Coach Bronson:

Own your ****, people. It's not my responsibility to make you safe and feel good about everything.

Coach Natalie:

I am sorry, but it is not an unalienable right to not be offended.

Coach Bronson:

There it is. There it is. That's a better way to say it.

Coach Natalie:

We are human beings. We are fallible. Right? We will be triggered. We will be offended. We will have emotions come up. It is part of the human experience. The key to a powerful life is reducing the amount of time that you are taken off track by an emotional response.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah, I like that.

Coach Natalie:

So taking this if it throws you off for a week right now, can you get it down to where it throws you off for a day? If it throws you off for a day right now, can you get it down to where it throws you off for an hour? And this is like I'm a big fan of Tony Robbins and a lot of the self help folks, and he's a big proponent on this is cutting that time down. That is what makes you powerful as a person. If you can recover in 30 seconds, you are a boss. And this is what the most successful people have been capable of doing in their lives.

Coach Bronson:

What is that five minute roll that we're talking about? Like, you allow yourself five minutes to be****** off about something, set a clock. Like, set a watch, set a timer. I'll let myself be mad for five minutes. And just the action of setting a clock and doing that, you're going to realize how idiotic they are.

Coach Natalie:

Oh, my gosh. This could okay, I'm not going to go too deep into this, but it's something I've done with a couple of clients recently, and it is the selfparenting technique. When you feel bubbling over with anger, frustration, irritability, anxiety, whatever the heightened emotion, it is the ability to be with yourself as if you were holding a child. An upset, screaming, crying, or injured child, scared child. There is something in you that just wants your attention, no matter what the emotion. Even if it's like, intense anger, if you promise to sit with it the way you would promise a child. It's okay. This is the mantra I gave my clients this week. Mommy's here. Mommy is here. It's this feeling of I am safe. I am held. I can be here as long as I need to be here, that I am not alone. And it's just you being with yourself, but it's you reassuring yourself that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not shutting you away in a closet to cry and scream because I don't have the time for you. Even though this is what I said to my clients. Even though in your head, you know you only have five minutes and then you got to move on. You would never let that child know that you would hold them with all the love in the world and then they would calm down in like 30 seconds, 60 seconds flat. It's just the knowing that you're not going anywhere and you're held in a safe space, so that's all your emotions want. It's just a moment of your time. So if you're pushing your emotions to the back because you don't have time for it and this is not the time, I have to not do that here. By all means, don't hug and rock in the middle of a business meeting, but as soon as you can sit down with yourself and just be with yourself for a minute or two. And I love the Breathe app on the Apple Watch, but whatever phone you have, whatever apps you have access to, it gives a nice little pulse and you can breathe with it. So it helps the time you're breathing so that you can calm your nervous system down. For all my people with anxiety, overwhelmed stress, anger, this is a huge, powerful technique. Just taking a few deep breaths and slow exhales and just saying to yourself, I am here, I am here, it's going to be okay.

Coach Bronson:

And being there for yourself and being aware and taking the time to do this and when we say do this inner work, it's really not a complicated process. It's just taking the time to spend time with yourself and listen to what you're saying and figure out why you're saying it. So if you don't take that time, if you're always busy, you never let your mind settling, you never let the external stimulus go away for a little bit, then you're never going to give yourself that opportunity. So it's definitely something very important to do before we drop off. You talk about your writing down things you don't want, turning it into something positive. The opposite of that. What are some other one or two other things that people can practically look at doing to change from a fix to a growth mindset? I have one.

Coach Natalie:

Go for it.

Coach Bronson:

Change your circle of influence.

Coach Natalie:

That is not a small one.

Coach Bronson:

OK. The people that you hang around, the people that you associate to, and the people that you entrust your future with because that's what you're doing. You're entrusting your future to the people that you spend time with. Okay. I think what the saying is the sum of your you know where I'm going with it.

Coach Natalie:

Yes, you are the you are the.

Coach Bronson:

Sum of the five people that you associate with. Yeah. So if you're spending the time with people who you're commiserating with and who you get together and you complain about it, it's not even that they complain back to you, but if they just let you complain all the time and they don't confront your attitude yes. Then that's enabling. That is not helping you become a better person.

Coach Natalie:

And there's a statement of the small minds.

Coach Bronson:

Talk about people, the average minds, great money. Is it the average minds? Average minds will say, talk about things and the great minds talk about concepts.

Coach Natalie:

Yes. And you shouldn't be you don't want to be in the room where you're the smartest person in the room.

Coach Bronson:

No.

Coach Natalie:

Always put yourself around people who are where you're trying to go.

Coach Bronson:

Right.

Coach Natalie:

And don't take advice from anybody who's not in a position where you are.

Coach Bronson:

Oh, my God. That's a whole other thing. What's the saying? The people in the stands aren't on the field.

Coach Natalie:

There's so many great things.

Coach Bronson:

If they're not playing the game, then why are you listening to them?

Coach Natalie:

Yes. Oh my gosh. In the Keto Carnivore community, the number of people I hear saying, well, this influencer said this. And I will say to them, well, I don't want to look like that influencer.

Coach Bronson:

It's not even just looks, but just in general what it is, because these.

Coach Natalie:

Are women who are concerned with body composition. I'm like, well, then maybe that's not who you need to be listening.

Coach Bronson:

Well, again, there's the context of the goal. If you're working with a lot of women who are trying to get lean and toned and built and strong and potentially get on stage or do a photo shoot or look great in a bikini right. Or whatever that may be, if that's their goal and they're listening to people who are skinny, fat, or overweight or whatever else. Like, those people have a story and they have had success in what they're trying to do. Absolutely not. But it's not being away from applicable to the context of what that person is trying.

Coach Natalie:

Exactly. So look at your context. Look at where you want to go and place yourself in rooms with people who are farther along than you.

Coach Bronson:

Yes.

Coach Natalie:

That is key. There was another one I just thought of. I think I lost it, so go ahead.

Coach Bronson:

I want to add to that. I want to add to that it's not just surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. And we're not talking about necessarily your health, journey, money, job, career. Those are all good things and they do apply in those areas. But what we're saying is we just listed a bunch of things about what growth mindset people do and how they think. Find people that think that way. That's what we're talking about. If you want to change from being fixed mindset to being growth mindset, then find people who are willing to and frequently embrace change, who get out of their comfort zone, who lift other people up, who are constantly learning and all of those things, those are the people that you want to associate with. If you want to change your life.

Coach Natalie:

Forever, that is the perfect segue to the tip I was going to leave, which is feeding your mind is just as important as feeding your body well. So your inputs will become your outputs.

Coach Bronson:

Garbage in, garbage out.

Coach Natalie:

Pay attention to what you're putting in your mind every day. What are you watching? What are you listening to? I don't watch the news. I don't read about all of the media mayhem, about any of these. I haven't read about anything scares or environmental scares. I don't listen to the fear mongering. I don't put that in my world. That is not a thing that's in my existence.

Coach Bronson:

And I'll vouch literally any time I put something on that has anything to do with current events or news or politics or any of that stuff. There are times she'll just get up and walk out of the room. She has no desire to hear it.

Coach Natalie:

I don't engage. That's right. Yeah. If he brings up politics, I don't engage. So you don't have to engage with things even when people are bringing it to you. You train people how to treat you. So that would be a whole different topic. But what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, what you're putting in your environment really matters. So I love to this is why I listen to so many YouTubes and podcasts. I listen to positive things. I listen to motivational things in the morning. I listen to affirmation, meditation. I like to put on meditation music even without any words or without any content, just because it puts me in a good state. Listen to your favorite music.

Coach Bronson:

Five Finger death much?

Coach Natalie:

Our gym playlist may be slightly different.

Coach Bronson:

A little disturbed or Marilyn Manson hearing.

Coach Natalie:

Some of them are similar on the hip hop side of things, although I go a little harder on the hip hop.

Coach Bronson:

On the you do go harder on hip hop? Yeah.

Coach Natalie:

No, putting things into your sphere of existence, your sphere of control, which is a whole other topic. We could yeah, we can talk about.

Coach Bronson:

Control, and that's a whole nother yeah.

Coach Natalie:

But yeah. Be mindful of what you are consuming beyond just food injury.

Coach Bronson:

Absolutely. It's so funny, the mental aspect as a nutrition and fitness perspective, too, right? Are you feeding your mind with things that are nutritious for your mind, and then are you exercising your mind in a way that's going to grow habits and help you grow intellectually, emotionally, as a person?

Coach Natalie:

I love it.

Coach Bronson:

Yeah. All right, so this was about fitness and nutrition.

Coach Natalie:

Yeah, it was.

Coach Bronson:

All right, guys. Hope that was helpful. Hope you got some things out of that you could use. As always, we'd love to hear back from you, and if you have recommendations or questions or topics or something you want to hear us talk about, please let us know. Eventually, maybe we might run out of topics if you guys don't give us some feedback. So yeah, I doubt it, but it's always good to make sure that we're talking about things that you guys actually want to hear about. So please give us some feedback.

Coach Natalie:

We are accessible on Facebook, on Instagram, on YouTube, so you can engage with our content. You can drop a comment. You can DM us. We are available. We are human beings. We read all of our own messages.

Coach Bronson:

We do read all of we don't have staff yet. All right, thanks a lot, guys. We will see you next time. And don't forget to subscribe. Nope.

Coach Natalie:

Well, they should also subscribe.

Coach Bronson:

Follow this podcast and then eat. Lift and repeat.

Coach Natalie:

Lift and repeat.

Coach Bronson:

See you guys. Peace.